Michael Mitchell: Archive

Consequences. Fake consequences, to be precise. If you must think of society first, then think of it this way: we all suffer the consequences when we make choices for other people, even unruly two-year-olds, and the primary way we perpetuate this interference is by creating man-made consequences, both punishments and rewards, that obfuscate natural, metaphysically-given consequences.

Personally, I don't mind at all if my kid grows up and goes to prison, as long as it's the result of his choices and not mine. This is an issue we all deal with, as children and as adults, and from both perspectives, from the view of the actor and from the view of the watcher that interferes, for whatever reason. Altruism and the virtue of justice -- "I know better than you what's best for you!" -- don't mix. Bad choices ALWAYS look like good choices.

It's a myth that mothers are more protective of their children than fathers are. It depends on what's being protected, on what someone thinks is most important. Dirty laundry and dishes, cuts and bruises, minor sicknesses, mental health, these things are barely a blip on your radar when it's your responsibility to carry the whole family, but it's impossible to maintain order if they're not managed by someone, and this leads to all the stereotypes of gender roles based on gender identities viewed almost exclusively from the father's perspective. They're generalizations inferred from the context of what's best for the family, rather than what's best for the individual.

Socialization and personal identity? If you abstract out the qualitative differences in human relationships, there are only two ways to be: you can "be yourself", the same around everyone, or you can change your personality to "fit in". Rebellion versus conformity is a false alternative. Either you are who you are or you're full of shit. It's not this simple, of course, because it seems easier to conform than to rebel, to not rock the boat or cause problems or whatever, and we're all taught that the interests of any group we're in are more important than our own, which means we actually reward each other for bullshitting each other, but facts are facts even if you hide them or you're unaware of them, and eventually the self will surface and collapse any organization or tear any group asunder or break up any relationship, if the individuals involved don't actually share the shared goals require to sustain them as successful enterprises or endeavors. Honest dissent is a highly-unappreciated virtue.