Michael Mitchell: Archive

Hi, Sadie... 🙂 I've been very interested in this issue for a very long time. I think the answer is motivation. No one knowingly acts against their own interests. 🙃

I don't think about it in the context of relationships, though. Too many personality variables get all mixed up in the dynamics and almost everyone acts differently depending on their audience, and usually out of necessity, because most relationships are contentious and forced. It's more reliable, I think, to see trust from a strictly individualistic perspective, to abstract out reactionary (?) behavior and focus on goal pursuit itself. Character qualities are helpful, but only if they're consistent, based on principles rather than rules. Another person's goals can change and you can change your evaluation accordingly simply by deciding whether or not you share them. It seems complicated, but if you look deep inside yourself, you'll find your own motivation is as difficult to disguise from others as it is for them to discern in you.